So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered
"It’s called a vagina."
"Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better" (c)
an ideal date would be eating takeout dinner in our pjs while watching Netflix and you play with my hair
My dad gives me this cake EVERY year on my birthday.
Well you better damn eat it finally
it’s weird how british people say “lift” instead of “elevator” and how my dad says “you are a dissappointment” instead of “i love you”
i just found out pornhub has a store and my only question is why